Single Blessedness Signing Off

March 6, 2009

It may be just an ordinary Friday for some but it was an extraordinary day for me. This is the day; the day I finally bid goodbye to my singleness; the day I broke my principle for being single for life; the day I embrace someone new in my heart; the day I said yes; the day Justin Philippe Legaspi Haguisan became my boyfriend.

Funny how our love story began. It started in a chat window. We were both members of this blogging group in the Internet. There was this forum under the said site that solicits our personal information like name, email addresses and messenger ID’s. Jace aka Justin, as his alias in the group’s forum, added me to his messenger list hoping to generate a chat conversation. Then the communication began. I guess a new yahoo friend on my end won’t do any harm. So I accepted his invitation. From the day we became messenger buddies, the conversations just flowed out naturally as we were jumping from one topic to another. Furthermore, it allowed both of our worlds to understand as we were taking our talks on a more personal note, making us closer with each other.

During those times we both have different directions in terms of our hearts. True we did click but at that time his heart belonged to someone else. It was with his five month complicated relationship with his officemate whom I need not name. I on the other hand have another love interest towards a friend who planned to visit me in my city soon. It was this certain doubt towards that friend that moved me to talk with Justin, trying to confirm things and how a man would perceive my gestures of likeness. He had been a helpful shoulder to lean on whenever I need one. Furthermore, there are things that are similar to both of us. With that said, I often referred him as my mirror, an exact resemblance of my personality on a different façade and gender. As time goes by the mirror became my twin, a big brother who I wished and longed for before. He then assumed many positions in my life, my movie buddy, my food trip guy, my best friend, my consultant and my sibling.

As months passed, his complicated relationship worsens. His girlfriend broke up with him backed up with shallow reasons and he was fired from his full-time job. As his sister, I was so concerned of his status since he was working to support himself. I became a listener to his frustrations and anger and helped him the way he helped me before. We would go out after my work to chill in a café bar or perhaps catch dinner on our favorite spots. Justin has always been good in coping up with his emotions. Days after the incident, he was back to his feet and ready to pursue his part time job. I was happy with his improvements and grateful that he wore his wonderful smile again.

The 6th of March, we chatted with our usual conversations as to how our days so far and what keeps us busy for the rest of the hours. It then concentrated on our mushy text messages the night before. I had never met someone like him and he was like the man of my dreams that I cannot verbally say. So we sort of contemplated with last nights messages. To cut the long conversation short, we ended up saying how we truly feel for each other and how empty we would become if we tend to lose the other. Then he popped up the question if he can be the man who would love me. Hesitations sink in my mind thus clouding my heart. Setting it apart and my principle to be single for life, I agreed to his proposal.

With a new found boyfriend and a loving companion, I resigned from singleness realizing I was whole with someone like Justin beside me. Breaking up a life principle for this man is worth the risk, worth the wait and worth my life.

I hope you will find your special someone too and can write the most romantic love story of your life.

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Single? Don't Mumble

Everyone experienced being single. Somewhere in our lives there were occasions when love and relationships were nowhere to be found. And I for one was also involve and a member of the singles club. In my previous blog entry, I wrote some of my experiences when I was still emotionally alone. I must say that during those times, I was frustrated, depressed and sad for not having that special someone. But in spite of that lacking aspect in my adult life, how did I survive all these?

Being single is not a curse for one to carry. It is even a privilege and an opportunity. In this phase, one can improve one’s self in preparation for the relationship. Years ago I had read the book entitled “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. It was an interesting book to begin with. The title itself is catchy and its contents are amazing. Reading this book was my eye opener on how to make the most of my singleness.

So let me share to you a little portion of the book’s lesson and how exactly did I applied it.

• The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. I want to do things as fast as I can. So when I tend to see couples before being oh so sweet, I tend to hastily join a romantic chat room and chat with a guy hoping he would be my next boyfriend. And guess what, every time, it failed and I end up being more depressed. The book inculcated the virtue of delaying gratification. The world might deliver us instant results even in the course of relationships but it can’t guarantee results. I am a girl who believes in happy ever after even if it might seem vague and impossible. And I know for sure, that making such hasty decisions can also pave the way of a hasty ending relationship. Thus I was driven to wait until the right man comes at the right time.

• Any season of singleness is a gift. This is very true. It is in this phase where I did maximize my freedom. Thoughts of being single mostly occupied my mind but doing stuffs that you can while in this state and putting it in action can swipe the thoughts away. I tend to do different things. I enrolled myself in music lessons particularly the violin and the arts. I was inculcating the thought that it would be wonderful to add a skill or two so when the one comes, he would see more.

• Making the most of your singleness. As I had indicated in the previous bullet, I learned totally new lessons to insert on my free times. And I was also a professional working then. Being in a relationship means loving someone new. Being single means loving someone old. So I tend to spend more time with my family. I immediately rush home after school and bond with my brother and parents when they get back from work. I tend to spend weekends with my closest college friends and hang out. It was like the moment of bonding for individuals who were already dear to me.

See? Being single after all is a fun time for you and for your family and friends. I know keeping yourself busy can also be a big help to suffice your single time. Just make sure that when you keep yourself busy, you are enjoying yourself in the process. A simple note, you don’t need that special someone to make you smile. If you can’t make yourself happy then how can you be assured when the right man comes, you can also make him happy?

As an add-on note, love yourself. It’s the best thing you can give and do for the meantime. Stay positive and good luck in finding the man of your dreams.

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Single Before, Not Anymore

Not so long ago, I was single. No boyfriend, no mutual understandings, no flings and no relationship. I can’t imagine how habitual my routine was two months ago (based on the date when this blog post was written).

I woke up on different times based on my teaching schedule, head to work, teach different college levels, check papers, prepare for tomorrow’s lecture and head home to have dinner and rest. Once in a while I get to hang out with some of my friends for a little eating session or perhaps with my students with their various activities.

With the whole 24 hours given to me, I always have time for everything. I even have time to go on a date with someone. But the big problem is I don’t know who to date. With the excess baggage I had with my previous relationships and the turmoil I had gone through, it was at this point in time that I had given up hopes to enter a new one. It was already inculcated in my mind that men are the same jerks on different physiques and faces. Trust me, I feared relationship and I am afraid to fall. It then turned out to be a principle. To become single the rest of my life and simply make the most out of it.

But on the other side of the coin, I found myself envious with other girls who have another hand holding theirs, who goes to the movies with another arm wrapped around them and simply being there for them. At times, I often asked myself, “What’s wrong with me that until now I don’t have a boyfriend?” Such anxiety and frustration often led me to go to chat rooms and web forums to hopefully find my man. But it all ends in vain. And once again, I was back in the depression atmosphere, failed and frustrated.

To keep me going and look those girls with their boyfriends in the eye, I tend to faithfully stick with my principle. I guess being single had its own sets of advantages for my case.

• I have lots of alone time
• I can go wherever I want without asking consent from someone
• I tend to enjoy my movie time more
• I work and do things at my own pace
• I don’t remember special dates
• I am free

Little did I know that by the moment I tend to literally gave up on that relationship thought and be single for the rest of my life, something unexpected would come. At first I didn’t thought that this could be it. Someone new appeared in my yahoo messenger message window stating who his name was and he got my YM ID from a group site. I was hesitant to chat with this new stranger, but I guess it would do no harm if I will casually talk with him and hopefully be friends. Funny how wonderful things can come in such the strangest way.

Such action alone was actually the start of me being single NO MORE.

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Hi Girlfriends!

First and foremost, I gladly welcome you with open arms to a more personal extension of myself. I am Angel and currently in a relationship with a very special man for two months and counting. I know the bond between us may be short in terms of period but nonetheless we are getting stronger and are already looking forward to that so called epitome of any relationship.

Basically why am I writing this blog with regards to my personal and private life? Simply because I want to share the happiness with others through a medium which may be a bit abstract. The blog does not only cater my personal adventures as a girlfriend but will also provide tidbits of what might be helpful information to other girlfriends and singles alike. I am not limiting this to individuals who are currently in the realms of relationship but also individuals outside its context.

Hope you might find the blog useful in strengthening your own personal relationship with your special someone and your relationship with yourself. I must admit, even before having my current boyfriend, I find myself alone for months not knowing when the right man will come or will he really come to my aid. Moreover, I once was faced with the reality that I might be single forever and spend eternity with me, myself and I. Finding him, was the happiest day of my life and was worth the wait, the previous pains, the cries and the sorrows.

Thus, If I have my special someone with me, why can't you? Let's begin the journey.

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