Single Before, Not Anymore

Not so long ago, I was single. No boyfriend, no mutual understandings, no flings and no relationship. I can’t imagine how habitual my routine was two months ago (based on the date when this blog post was written).

I woke up on different times based on my teaching schedule, head to work, teach different college levels, check papers, prepare for tomorrow’s lecture and head home to have dinner and rest. Once in a while I get to hang out with some of my friends for a little eating session or perhaps with my students with their various activities.

With the whole 24 hours given to me, I always have time for everything. I even have time to go on a date with someone. But the big problem is I don’t know who to date. With the excess baggage I had with my previous relationships and the turmoil I had gone through, it was at this point in time that I had given up hopes to enter a new one. It was already inculcated in my mind that men are the same jerks on different physiques and faces. Trust me, I feared relationship and I am afraid to fall. It then turned out to be a principle. To become single the rest of my life and simply make the most out of it.

But on the other side of the coin, I found myself envious with other girls who have another hand holding theirs, who goes to the movies with another arm wrapped around them and simply being there for them. At times, I often asked myself, “What’s wrong with me that until now I don’t have a boyfriend?” Such anxiety and frustration often led me to go to chat rooms and web forums to hopefully find my man. But it all ends in vain. And once again, I was back in the depression atmosphere, failed and frustrated.

To keep me going and look those girls with their boyfriends in the eye, I tend to faithfully stick with my principle. I guess being single had its own sets of advantages for my case.

• I have lots of alone time
• I can go wherever I want without asking consent from someone
• I tend to enjoy my movie time more
• I work and do things at my own pace
• I don’t remember special dates
• I am free

Little did I know that by the moment I tend to literally gave up on that relationship thought and be single for the rest of my life, something unexpected would come. At first I didn’t thought that this could be it. Someone new appeared in my yahoo messenger message window stating who his name was and he got my YM ID from a group site. I was hesitant to chat with this new stranger, but I guess it would do no harm if I will casually talk with him and hopefully be friends. Funny how wonderful things can come in such the strangest way.

Such action alone was actually the start of me being single NO MORE.

Posted in: Boyfriend, Fling, Principle, Single